(30 minute writing exercise, first draft and unedited)

Robertson & Olympic

This building is not ironic. This story isn’t sarcastic either, so just listen and maybe one day you too can be as good a person as I am.

*

Hundreds of facets of unfinished recyclable aluminium molded in toxic polystyrene reflect energy efficient LED light through the cybertronic cave. Meticulously coordinated angles mounted on carcinogenic fiberglass maximize the output of every efficient photon generated from electrons created by solar photons collected by photovoltaic arrays on the roof of the unfinished recyclable aluminium cave.

You’ve come here to the gas station designed by Frank Gehry’s cousin - you know, the one with down syndrome - in your 2009 Solar Flare Metallic H3 Hummer sipping your Starbucks Chai Soy Milk Latte because you want to make a positive difference in the world on your way to work, Ms. Bank of America Branch Manager. Ok, so you forgot to sort out the recyclables last night but right now, as you pump $77.12 worth of 91 octane, you’ll make up for those environmental indiscretions. After all, the bathroom floor of this ecological masterpiece is tiled with recycled glass! All the wood used in the construction was farmed! There’s a drought tolerant cactus garden on the roof of that masterpiece shitter! Right now, karmically speaking, you’re on par with a salty Greenpeace ship captain, bravely placing your vessel between an endangered blue whale and the evil Japanese whaling fleet. A sort of backwards Ahab but the white whale you’re hunting is ecological irresponsibility.

Did you notice the postcards they have here? You didn’t. See they have these postcards at every pump, you flip them over and they give you tips and tricks on how to save the world. Save the world! I know, I know - you can’t fit saving the entire world into your schedule right now because the P&L statements for the month are due and just thinking about it is making your forehead moist and you’ve already asked for an extension once and Mr. Stanfield, he wagged his fat sausage fingers in disapproval and he won’t let you have another. It’s ok if you don’t have the time for this right now, all you have to do is litter this postcard. You see the paper has seeds pressed right into it. So when you litter you’re actually creating a community garden full of fragrant red roses and delicate buttercream daisies where little children with fat sausage fingers can run around and stain their Sunday dress on the freshly cut grass while feathery white clouds lazily amble in the background across an Adobe Photoshop blue sky and you know all of this was possible because you chose to stop at this particular gas station.

Carry this feeling with you throughout the day, the warm Chai Latte feeling of doing something good and not needing a reward for doing it. Just try not to sound too glib as you tell your direct reports about it while showing them the postcard that inspired the new office recycling strategy, you’ve asked your executive assistant to take the trash can from Felicia’s desk and label it with a large recycle logo on day-glo green paper.

The Kobayashi Maru is a test in the fictional Star Trek universe.  It is a Starfleet training exercise designed to test the character of cadets that deals with the possibility of unwinnable situations.

*

When I went to sleep yesterday, I had been awake - completely awake - for 36 continuous hours. I had another one of those tedious drafting projects due Friday at 2pm and arrived at school Thursday at 8am.

I hate drafting because I’m not very good at it. I’m terrible at it. I have been a photographer since 7th grade, I’m used to the kind of artistic expression where you push a button and you’re done (sort of). Before digital SLRs, I would get so frustrated at the chemical developing process. I learned to do it well but it was tedious. Most of the time I would take my negatives to a one hour lab and have them just develop the film without making prints. I enjoyed making the prints myself. Which now correlates with how much I enjoy iPhoto.

I have never been a by-hand artist. I didn’t paint or sculpt or draw or carve. I’m a pokemon artist, I see something beautiful or interesting and capture it.

Most of the class was here overnight. 40+ people were at school working feverishly on a drafting project that only 5 or so people completed. And, without disrespect, the 5 or so people who did finish didn’t do an outstanding job. You couldn’t even say they did a good job.

If you didn’t complete the assignment you failed because you didn’t complete the assignment. But if you did complete the assignment you failed because there is no way to have produced quality work in the allowed time.

*

For the third time this week, Nathan (my studio professor) told me that my issue with my work wasn’t in with quality but interpretation.

I realized that the issue with my work so far is that I have been attacking the problem like a Mac Genius. I have been looking to the take apart manuals and removing the screws looking to replace the defective piece. I’ve been breaking down the exercises into procedures and steps instead of expressing the art.

So I didn’t complete the task. I failed at the mission. But I learned something about myself and that’s what the Kobeyashi Maru is about.